This is my third summary by Dale Carnegie in just eleven total summaries, so that should give some indication of how I feel about the man. Carnegie's prose is accessible and concrete; he gives actionable advice, not abstract ideas. His work is backed up by hours and hours of research.
This book really helps me when I'm feeling anxious or depressed. I hope you get value from these notes and if you enjoy this bite-sized version, I highly recommend checking out the book.
My Notes
Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.
"This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."
Shut the iron doors on the past and the future. Live in day-tight compartments.
3-step Formula:
1. Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen?"
2. Prepare to accept it if you have to.
3. Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst.
Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. "Those who do not know how to fight worry die young."
1. Get the facts.
2. Analyze the facts.
3. Arrive at a decision--and then act on that decision.
If a man will devote his time to securing facts in an impartial, objective way, his worries will usually evaporate in the light of knowledge.
1. When trying to get the facts, pretend that you are collecting this info not for yourself, but for some other person. This helps you take a cold, impartial view of the evidence. This helps you eliminate your emotions.
2. While trying to collect the facts about the problem that is worrying you, pretend you are a lawyer preparing to argue the other side of the issue. Try to get all the facts against yourself--all the facts that are damaging to your wishes, all the facts you don't like to face. Then write down your side of the case.
1. What am I worrying about?
2. What can I do about it?
3. Here is what I am going to do about it.
4. When am I going to start doing it?
Keep busy. The worried person must lose himself in action, lest he wither in despair.
1. What is the problem?
2. What is the CAUSE of the problem?
3. What are all possible solutions to the problem?
4. What solution do you suggest?
Let's not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Remember "Life is too short to be little."
"Let's examine the record." Let's ask ourselves: "What are the chances, according to the law of averages, that this event I am worrying about will ever occur?"
Bend like the willow; don't resist like the oak. Cooperate with the inevitable.
Whenever we are tempted to throw good money after bad in terms of human living, let's stop and ask ourselves these three questions:
1. How much does this thing I am worrying about really matter to me?
2. At what point shall I set a "stop-loss" order on this worry--and forget it?
3. Exactly how much shall I pay for this whistle? (Ben Franklin parable) Have I already paid more than it is worth?
Let the past bury its dead. Don't try to saw sawdust.
"A man is not hurt so much by what happens, as by his opinion of what happens."
-Montaigne
Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.
Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them.
"An angry man is always full of poison."
-Confucius
"The ideal man takes joy in doing favors for others."
-Aristotle
To avoid resentment and worry over ingratitude:
A. Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day--and only one thanks Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
B. Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to give for the joy of giving.
C. Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
Count your blessings--not your troubles!
Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves.
Two men looked out from prison bars,
One saw the mud, the other saw the stars.
The best things in life are most difficult.
Happiness is not mostly pleasure; it is mostly victory.
Nietzsche's formula for the superior man was "not only to bear up under necessity but to love it."
When fate hands us lemons, let's try to make lemonade. [I don't think this was so cliche when Carnegie wrote this in 1948.]
Forget yourself by becoming interested in others. Every day do a good deed that will put a smile of joy on someone's face.
"Faith is one of the forces by which men live, and the total absence of it means collapse."
"Vulgar people take huge delight in the faults and follies of great men."
Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.
Do the very best you can; and the put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.
If my critic had known about all my other faults, he would have criticized me much more severely than he did.
Let's keep a record of the fool things we have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can't hope to be perfect, let's do what E. H. Little did: Let's ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism.
4 Good Working Habits:
1. Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
2. Do things in the order of their importance.
3. When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision. Don't keep putting off decisions.
4. Learn to organize, deputize [delegate], and supervise.
To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work.
5 Ways to Keep from Worrying about Insomnia:
1. If you can't sleep, do what Samuel Untermyer did. Get up and work or read until you do feel sleepy.
2. Remember that [almost] no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. Worrying about insomnia usually causes far more damage than sleeplessness.
3. Try prayer--or repeat Psalm XXIII [Non-religious alternative: meditation.]
4. Relax your body.
5. Exercise. Get yourself so physically tired you can't stay awake.
A. Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day--and only one thanks Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
B. Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to give for the joy of giving.
C. Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
Count your blessings--not your troubles!
Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves.
Two men looked out from prison bars,
One saw the mud, the other saw the stars.
The best things in life are most difficult.
Happiness is not mostly pleasure; it is mostly victory.
Nietzsche's formula for the superior man was "not only to bear up under necessity but to love it."
When fate hands us lemons, let's try to make lemonade. [I don't think this was so cliche when Carnegie wrote this in 1948.]
Forget yourself by becoming interested in others. Every day do a good deed that will put a smile of joy on someone's face.
"Faith is one of the forces by which men live, and the total absence of it means collapse."
"Vulgar people take huge delight in the faults and follies of great men."
Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.
Do the very best you can; and the put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.
If my critic had known about all my other faults, he would have criticized me much more severely than he did.
Let's keep a record of the fool things we have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can't hope to be perfect, let's do what E. H. Little did: Let's ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism.
4 Good Working Habits:
1. Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
2. Do things in the order of their importance.
3. When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision. Don't keep putting off decisions.
4. Learn to organize, deputize [delegate], and supervise.
To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work.
5 Ways to Keep from Worrying about Insomnia:
1. If you can't sleep, do what Samuel Untermyer did. Get up and work or read until you do feel sleepy.
2. Remember that [almost] no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. Worrying about insomnia usually causes far more damage than sleeplessness.
3. Try prayer--or repeat Psalm XXIII [Non-religious alternative: meditation.]
4. Relax your body.
5. Exercise. Get yourself so physically tired you can't stay awake.
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