Derek's Blog

Winners fail. Losers fail. The difference between the two is that winners don't just take it. They deploy patience, tenacity, and grit when they fail. We all get punched in the face and fall to the canvas. If you want to win, you have to get up. Again. And again. And again. Falling, if you're trying new things and growing, is inevitable. Brushing yourself off when life smacks you down is a choice. We all fall. These experiences are painful, no doubt. But staying down and whining about how unfair life is won't help. So we're left with only one option. Get up. Wipe the blood from your mouth. Smile. Then get right back at it. That's how we win.

Why do you like the sports teams you like? Why do you dislike a certain group of people based solely on some immutable quality they possess? Why do you believe there is an omnipotent man in the clouds who takes requests? Or worse, why do you believe killing people who don't believe the same things as you do will get you 72 virgins when you die? The answer to all of these questions is conditioning. Human beings are not born with pre-programmed beliefs. Rather, we're conditioned by friends. family, and society to hold certain values. And, since our brains our hardwired to be accepted by the tribe for survival purposes, we often blindly follow. Little to nothing is actually you . Human beings are dynamic. If you're holding onto destructive habits because "that's just the way I am," that's bullshit. You're saying the conditioned narratives running in your head are you. They aren't. Next time you find yourself doing or thinking something harmf...

Pointing fingers and assigning blame isn't forward progress. If anything, it leads to digression and hurt b-holes. When someone--unsolicited--tries to fix you how do you feel? Exactly. When we focus on ourselves, though, then real progress can be made. Dominion over our internal states is the only true power we're afforded. But what an awesome power! The ability to influence the form and function of your brain. The capacity to train your emotional responses. We win from within. Stop pointing fingers. Fix yourself.

Scuba divers training in a shallow pool don't expect much. It's simply a limited, barren practice. That said, it's a necessary step in order to explore the grandeur of the wild blue sea. What if we looked at failed relationships with shallow people like this? As a limited and overall barren venture--but one that's necessary to train ourselves to be ready for when the deep one(s) come into our lives. This flips the script and turns these experiences into lessons instead of failures. Like water, the depth of humans is not always clear. It's important to develop your own personal depth finder. If you try to find profundity in a shallow pool you'll be disappointed. Learn from the pools, then go out and find your oceans.  

The only two inborn fears human beings are born with are fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. That's it. False Evidence Appearing Real is a perfect encapsulation of fear. 99.9% of the things we fear is conditioned and irrational. Unless you're running from a tiger or a burning building, chances are your fear falls into this category. But that doesn't make it any less real. Intellectually we know it's only conditioned responses but we still constantly struggle with these false alarms. So what can we do? Fear inoculation exercises. By regularly engaging in things we fear (but know we shouldn't) we can help build up a resistance to these pesky fears. Afraid to ask for the raise you deserve? Research the most effective asking techniques, craft your unique pitch, and go in there with a confident mien. Worse case scenario you're exactly where you started. No harm, no foul. (If your boss would fire you for asking for an overdue raise, then your boss i...

Negativity and unactionable worry never work. They're also self-made constructs. Just be.

Google's Eight Innovation Maxims

Every action we take has a consequence. Consequences can be both good or bad. (We often only view them as negative, as the only time we tend to think about consequences is when negative ones are thrust upon us.) Do you want to spend your evenings watching hours of TV? Or would you rather practice a craft, or work on a side business? Both routes have consequences. Do you want to drink a bottle of whiskey? Eat a bunch of garbage day in and day out? Great, just don't complain when the repercussions for these actions come to pass. Instead of only looking at the consequences for a hindsight action, let's plan our actions around the most likely consequences.

Decisions, backed by massive effective action, are what shape life. Once you truly decide to do something--you commit to it heart and soul--that thing is done. This requires belief that you can and will do this, a long with a desire to do this that resonates with you . Not your parents, teachers, friends, or anyone else. Make the decision to be the best version of you this year.